It seems like the new hot ticket around LA is gay wedding invitations. A friend surprised me a few weeks ago by announcing he and his partner are getting married, because it’s now legal for them to do so. I admit that I’m not directly affected by this ruling and really don’t understand the history behind this sought after right in the gay community. However, I do understand something about relationships and good reasons for marriage such as love, compatibility, as well as a solid and stable partnership. An unstable relationship, wrought with problems—not so good.
So when my friend told me that he’s getting married because it was now legal. My first thought was, “Just because you can doesn’t mean that you should.”
I’ve turned this into my mantra of the month, because it has brought me so many lessons. Here’s an example. Because my decided-to-get-married-because-it’s-legal friend has been so kind to me in the past, I offered to do their wedding cake for free. He told me that it was a small wedding of 30 to 50. I said okay and started planning. Then 6 days before the wedding the count mushroomed to 80 to 100! I told him I would have to charge since the amount of people has doubled.
He promptly told me no thanks and that he’ll order from his local Filipino bakery down the street. What the….? Later that week at the rehearsal dinner I overheard someone ask how much did they pay for photography. He proudly said nothing. Everyone donated everything. So it lead me to believe someone donated the Filipino cake. Lesson learned. If you offer baked goods for free, people will not pay for them later, no matter how fair you think it is.
filipino wedding cake
Many women get into professional baking because they hope to make money doing something they love. I’m no different. If a chef at a restaurant gives you a sample of a dish, you don’t go back and ask for the entire entrée for free. In my experience baking, people see no problem asking for your services for free. Even my pilates instructor wanted me to cater one of her cast parties for free.
You may think it’s for a friend or an acquaintance. Why not bake something for free? Just because you can doesn’t mean that you should.
Would any of these friends and acquaintances work at their jobs for free? I think not. You’re in business to make money not give away product. Unfortunately, it’s human nature after getting something free, not wanting to pay for it later—just look at Napster.
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